Some things are meant to be
by VAfan88
Summary: Post restoration, Lissa insists Rose not push Dimitri 'until he is ready'. But each day Dimitri seems that little more remote, and Rose is not sure how much longer she can hang on. Everything changes when Dimitri visits Rose's room late one night - but sometimes it's one step forward, two steps back. And Rose is known to be many things, but patient is not one of them.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Take it easy Hathaway, you've been punching that bag for some time now. Come and get some water before you get dehydrated," said a Guardian beside me as I continued punching the bag as though my life depended on it.

"Don't worry about me, I got this," I grunted out while still continuing to beat the shit of the bag with a few combinations.

"It's your funeral," the Guardian said, walking away.

"Yeah, it is." Little did he know that extreme exercise is the only way for me to get rid off all the Darkness that I have pulled from Lissa, and a way for me to momentarily forget my problems. I figured out some time ago that extreme physical exercise could shave off some of the darkness I get from Lissa. Physical exercise keeps me occupied, but it doesn't help me solve my problems. How I wish my problems could be fixed by throwing a few punches, but unfortunately that's not how it works. So that's why I'm here twice a day at the court's Guardian gym.

You would think risking your life to search for what was thought to be impossible would earn you some kind of acknowledgement or even a thank you. Well, think again. It didn't happen in my case. Even though I was 'the mastermind' behind Dimitri's restoration. Lissa just enchanted the stake and shoved it inside Dimitri, making him Dhampir again. I was the one who searched for the impossible. Of course, I had help. But I didn't get a 'thank you for your contribution' or anything. Well, I did get _something_ , and that was a big fat rejection from my ex-lover/ ex Strigoi lover, and I managed to get Lissa mad at me.

I was determined to force some sense into Dimitri. He needed to stop avoiding me and adoring Lissa as his 'savior'. It's not that I am jealous. Well, I am a little bit because _come on_ she didn't do it alone. We all contributed. I know Dimitri, and I know that he's suffering and doesn't want to see me because of what he did in Russia. I forgave him when I thought I'd killed him that night. I know it wasn't him.

"Phew!" Ok, that's enough for today I guess. I grabbed the towel that was on top of my water bottle and began to dry myself from the sweat. _'Yup my arms will be hurting tomorrow'_ I thought while walking back to my room and stretching. While in the shower, I thought about the ways I could make Dimitri see that I forgave him. That he's not to blame for what he did. But every thought was crazier than the previous one. By the end of my shower, I hadn't come even close to figuring out what to do. I guess I'd go have some dinner then start thinking again.

Dinner was great, but I ate alone again. Adrian and Lissa were with Tatiana in a Royal dinner, and Christian was with his aunt. I didn't want to join them, so I ate alone with my thoughts on Dimitri. Once I'd finished I went to turn in because I was physically and mentally exhausted.

Already asleep I felt the beginning of a Spirit dream.

"Adrian!"

"Little Dhampir! I didn't expect to catch you in bed already. I'm sorry I couldn't spend the day with you. My aunt had me busy all day. Tomorrow too," Adrian said looking sad.

"It's okay, I understand," I replied, feeling guilty that I hadn't thought about Adrian all day. I went to hug Adrian and inhaled his scent _'always the best for Adrian'_ I thought.

"So, have you given my proposal a thought?" Adrian asked.

"Are you talking about the why I should date you proposal?"

"I am. So what do you think?"

"Adrian, please. I've told you a million times I won't lose you as a friend. I can't. I'll never forgive myself if I hurt you," I said looking him straight in the eyes. Adrian has been trying to get me to agree to go out with him for a long time now. In reality, I like Adrian, but I'm not in love with him. I do have feelings for him, but I will not act on them because Adrian deserves more than just 'like'. I can't offer him my love because Dimitri has that.

"You know, I know your answer every time I ask you, but I can't help the hope I feel every time," he said with a sad voice, looking down at his jeans.

"I know. Trust me when I tell you that if I did say yes, you'd only get hurt."

"I'm already hurting, little Dhampir."

"I know, Adrian. I can see it. I'm sorry." I said it with as much truthfulness as I had in me.

"It's not your fault. I guess it's not meant to be."

"No, I love you as a friend."

"I know. I want _more_ Rose!" Oh no. He said my name. That means he's pretty serious. Looking at his face, I could see the desperation. I feel so badly for him. I keep thinking about how much more I would hurt him if I went out with him and just ended up dumping him. I couldn't be that cruel.

"I'm tired. I'll let you go. See you soon little Dhampir." He kissed my forehead and darkness filled my eyes.

Later that night I woke up to a noise. With my refined hearing, I could tell it was a knock. I quickly checked the bond and saw Lissa was fast asleep. I got up and went to the door.

"Whoever is waking me at this hour better have a funeral arrangement in place!"

"It's me, Dimitri. Open up."

I stood there for a second in shock. Then I quickly opened the door.

"Umm, Dimitri. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, Roza. Can I come in?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Never did I think I was going to hear that word again. Roza. The name Dimitri calls me when he's feeling affectionate towards me. Dimitri was standing there in dark blue jeans and a tight dark grey shirt. Calling him handsome or hot was an insult. He was so much more than that.

I couldn't believe that Dimitri was here. In my room!

"What are you doing here? Is everything ok?" I asked in a low voice, trying not to scare him.

Dimitri didn't say anything. He just grabbed me and began kissing me, taking me by surprise. It took a second for me to respond to the kiss. It was just like the ones he gave me back at the cabin. I could feel his love in the kiss and in how he was embracing me.

My Russian God kept kissing me. Touching me everywhere like it was his mission to explore every inch of my body. I didn't think. I just let myself go and savour his touch and kiss. By the time he kissed the side of my jaw, we were already at the foot of my bed. I sat down and he went for my shirt, taking it off. I didn't have a bra on, but if I had he would've taken that off too. Not wanting to be the only one half-naked, I went for his shirt. He didn't try to stop me. He actually helped me by lifting it the last little way.

After his shirt was off Dimitri began kissing me again. This time, it was the side of my neck, down to my collarbone and towards the middle of my chest. All while he was murmuring my name.

"Oh Roza, so beautiful," he whispered as he kissed the side of my left breast, taking the nipple into his mouth. I gasp of pleasure escaped me, and I threw my head backwards arching my back towards him. He transferred his attentions to my other nipple, the breast he'd previously had in his mouth responding to the cold room, making the nipple harder if possible. One of his calloused hands massaged my sensitive breast, the other roaming across my body.

I didn't realise we were dry humping each other until he stopped, standing up to remove his pants and briefs. I couldn't look anywhere else if my life depended on it. Seeing Dimitri naked was just plain fascinating. I looked at his face and saw love and lust written all over it. Before coming back to the bed he took off my pyjama shorts and underwear. He came back to me, and I automatically opened my legs to allow him to settle between them. He didn't enter me, but I could feel his erection poking my inner thigh.

I could tell he was supporting most of his weight with his arms, but it didn't matter because he began kissing me again. I moaned into his mouth, barely containing my excitement. I wanted him so badly. I gripped his upper arms because I couldn't contain myself. This man had so much power over my body. I'd never want this from anyone but him. I moved my hands towards his hair, tugging it gently and receiving groans from him.

I knew I should be thinking about why he was here, but my brain checked out on me the moment he started kissing me. He was trailing kisses down my stomach, gripping my hips. I knew what he was going to do and I tried to stop him.

"Let me," he growled, his mouth oh so close to my core.

"Ah!" I groaned, his tongue in my pussy making my hands go to his head automatically, pulling his hair gently.

"Oh, Roza! You're so wet. You taste amazing!"

I would never be able to describe the feelings Dimitri elicited from me. His tongue moved, assaulting my clit with just the right amount of pressure and speed to take me over the edge.

"Cum for me Roza!" he groaned. And that's what I did because honestly, I couldn't hold myself back any longer.

"Ahh! Dimitri!"

As soon as I came back down from my high he shifted, grabbing his member and positioning it at my entrance. He looked at me as though he were asking for permission, and I gladly nodded.

"Oh Roza, you feel so good!" he groaned moving inside me. Seeing him, knowing I was giving him pleasure, made me want to cum again. Dimitri kept thrusting with a slow pace. As though he was trying to feel all of me. Cherish me with each stroke.

He kept murmuring in Russian. In and out. In and out. Dimitri kept his pace, never faltering, never slowing down. He kept groaning, telling me how good it felt. His arms were bent, one on each on the side of my head. His hands were stroking my hair, his mouth kissing my mouth and neck. Dimitri kept pushing forward as deep as he could before pulling almost all the way out. The feeling was amazing. Nothing could compare to this feeling. My body reacted to his, and soon I was ready to climax again. I groaned in pleasure.

"I'm close, Dimitri. I'm very close," I whispered. Dimitri just groaned again and sped up his pace.

"Oh fuck! I'm cuming Dimitri!" I yelled, pulling on his hair. But he didn't slow down. Instead, he increased his pace, and that was my undoing. This climax was so much more powerful than the first one. Every nerve in my body felt the pleasure, my body arching towards him, my core clamping on his member.

"Oh fuck!" was all I heard before Dimitri came inside me, looking deep into my eyes. I couldn't look away. I could feel his member throbbing within me, making me squirm because my body was super sensitive due to my climax. I kept hearing Dimitri groan in pleasure. This was the second time I'd had sex with him, and it was only getting better.

"I love you!" I said, not thinking about. But I didn't regret it.

Dimitri pulled out of me, and I felt the change in him like a splash of cold water. He looked at me, and I could tell he was looking at my soul. But something had changed. There was no more gaze of adoration. I could see it in his eyes. Don't ask me why, I just know that something had changed in Dimitri, and I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it.

"I have to go." That's all he said before he abruptly got up from my bed, putting his clothes on in record time, and left. I lay there, too stunned to even blink. What the hell just happened? Knowing that I wasn't going to chase after him, I went to sleep. I didn't realize I was so tired.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next morning, I woke up in the happiest mood I've ever enjoyed in my entire life. I was even happy that today was Sunday and I was going to church. Nothing could tamper with my mood. I got dressed to go to church. I knew everyone was already there because I went to check on Lissa. She was talking to some royals about the age decree.

I went down to the cafeteria and grabbed an apple because I was already late. When I got back I saw that Dimitri had a whole pew to himself. Lissa was in the front with the royals, so I sat next to him.

"Hello Comrade, how was your night?" I could feel my smile on my face.

"Not now, Rose," he said quietly in a terse voice. I was stunned by his tone. I turned to see his face and confirmed what I'd heard. He was angry.

"What's got you all in a twist, Comrade?"

"Please Rose, go away" he sighed.

"W-what what do you mean?" I whispered, completely stunned by his behaviour.

"Just like you heard. Stay away!" he whisper-yelled.

"You know I'll never go away. I'll stay here until I make you understand that I forgive you for everything and that I want us to be together," I told him, staring at him with imploring eyes.

"Can you please lower your voice? We're in church!" I can't believe he was acting like this. I swear Dimitri's mood swings are worse than a girl on her period.

"I don't care if we're in church or a fucking carnival. I want to know why the sudden change in mood. You were nowhere near this angry last night! On the contrary, you were…"

"Stop it! Don't say it! What we did was wrong. I should never have gone to your room. I'm sorry."

I can tell he saw the surprised expression on my face, but that didn't make him lower the mask he'd perfected over the years. I couldn't understand his mood change, but it made me angry. And I didn't want to be angry after last night.

"Is it because I said 'I love you'?" I whispered. I tried to reach out to him, but he abruptly stood up as though I were a snake. His Guardians shot forward, braced for what he might do.

But he did nothing. Nothing except stare at me with a look that made my blood run cold. Like I was something strange and bad. "Rose. Please stop. Please stay away. What happened shouldn't have." I could tell he was working hard to stay calm, but that didn't stop me. I shot up, now angrier than before. But I knew I couldn't yell at him here in church so I decided to leave.

"This isn't over. I won't give up on you," I vowed, standing up and walking along the pew.

"I've given up on you," he said in a voice so soft I thought I'd misheard. "Love fades. Mine has."

I stood in stunned disbelief. He was always saying that he could no longer love because of the remorse he felt. He said that he had no more room for love. But he'd never ever told me that he no longer loved _me_.

I felt something strange in my heart. As if it were physically breaking. I felt it crumpling piece by piece. My throat started closing up, and I couldn't breathe. 'I have to get out of here,' I thought. I don't know what commanded my legs, but all of the sudden I was in my room. As soon as the door closed, I fell to the floor clutching my chest, hearing a screeching noise. I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has. I kept repeating those words over and over in my head. How could this happen? Why me? What had I done to deserve this? All I had ever done was love him. With all my heart.

I don't know how long I lay on the floor, but it must have been a long time because I was stiff when I tried to get up. I didn't even realise I'd been crying until I saw my eyes were red and swollen. My chest hadn't stopped hurting. I could still feel it, but it was almost bearable. But I was the living dead. A fact confirmed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. Not a trace of sassy Rose Hathaway. I hated myself. I hated what I had become. So I punched the mirror. Pieces of broken glass were scattered around the bathroom floor and I didn't care. I would never feel like this again, I swore to myself.

I paced around my room for about three minutes when the idea of leaving came to me. I didn't think about it twice. I didn't need to. I was determined to get away from all this crap.

After I got my clothes ready, I took a shower, put on some clean clothes and went over to the desk to write a simple note. 'Gone. Don't look for me'. That's all it said. I knew at least Adrian would look for me regardless, but I could handle him.

Leaving my room, I made my way to the Guardian section of the court to check out stakes and a gun. Because you never knew when you might need them.

The Guardian there didn't give me too much trouble about checking out two stakes and a standard handgun with a silencer. He did ask why I needed supplies at five in the afternoon, but I guess I had the 'don't mess with me' mask on because he didn't require me to answer his stupid question.

After that, I went straight to the gates. Since, technically, I was a Guardian I didn't have to ask permission to leave court. The Guardian at the gates gave me a puzzled look, but he didn't try to stop me or question my motives. I said a silent goodbye. And then I walked out of the gates, never looking back.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It's been three months since I've been at court. When I left I didn't know where to go. I didn't have a place to stay, or the money enough to go and rent. I spent a couple of days in a hotel about ten miles away from court. I had to bribe a couple to rent me a room so my name wouldn't appear in the registration logs when the Guardians came looking for me, and they definitely did.

*flashback*

It was the morning after I ran away that I was sucked into Lissa's body. She was crying uncontrollably, and I couldn't pull myself out quickly because her emotions were running wild. She was crying blaming herself for my disappearance. I finally got the power to get out, but not before I saw Adrian's distraught face.

That same night I had a spirit dream, which I was expecting so I didn't fight it.

Adrian materialized in front of me wearing jeans that fitted him to perfection and a dark navy blue shirt that also fitted him well. We were at court in the gardens section.

"Little Dhampir, where are you?"

"Hi Adrian, I was expecting you."

"You were?" he asked with a puzzled look.

"Yes, I was. I knew you were going to try to reach out the moment you heard I was gone."

"Well then, tell me where you are and I'll come get you."

"No. Adrian, I want to leave court for good."

He sighed, embracing me in a hug

"Is it Belikov?"

"How did you know?" I ask, my voice muffled by his chest

"A man's intuition Rose. Besides, after we found out that you left, he ran out."

"Please don't tell anyone why I ran. _Please_."

"I promise I won't, but what about Lissa? Se is beating herself up because she thinks it's her fault."

"I don't want _anyone_ to know. I just want to disappear. I want to find myself. All my life has been about protecting Moroi, then it changed into protecting Lissa, then I fell in love with Dimitri, and it just went downhill from there. The rejection and Lissa not helping me got to me. You know I would give my life for any of them, but I want to find purpose, I guess. Do you understand, Adrian?" I asked with pleading eyes. I didn't want Adrian to think I was just a coward that couldn't handle it.

"Yes, my little Dhampir."

"I wish I could've gone with you because I understand what you're going through. I know you need to be by yourself. I don't care how long it takes. Days, weeks, months, or years. But just promise that you will come back, promise me, Rose," he pleaded with almost desperation. "Promise me, Rose."

"I can't promise you I'll come back, but I promise to keep in contact." He took a while to respond, I think he was looking at my aura or just into my eyes to see if I was lying to him. I guess he liked what he saw because he smiled and nodded. Honestly, I wouldn't want to cut ties with Adrian. He'd become part of my life like a brother. An annoying handsome brother.

"Ok. I'll leave you for now. If you need me you know how to contact me, ok little Dhampir?"

"Yes, Adrian I know." I gave him a big hug and he gave me a stronger hug and a kiss on my forehead before everything turned black and he was gone.

*Present*

"Wake up, Rose! It's day time, and we need to scout the area where the Strigoi were spotted."

"Five more minutes, Denis" I yelled from my bed.

"Wake up, lazy ass! I swear you sleep more each day!"

"Shut up, Denis," and I threw a pillow at home, but since I couldn't actually see where he was, I knocked down a lamp. Denis laughed.

"Just get up. It's going to be you and me this time, the others are buying supplies."

"Ugh! I'm coming! Let me take a shower at least." I finally got out of bed and smiled while changing, because even though I fight a lot with Denis, Artur and Lev they are still like brothers to me. They took me in almost two months ago without any question.

After staying in the hotel for a week, I knew it was too risky to stay near court. But even after a week of being stuck inside, I didn't know where to go. I just knew I couldn't stay _there_. The idea of being with the unpromised boys came to me when I was eating my breakfast. I guess all my ideas come after food! Anyway, the idea came to me because I was thinking about Dimitri's family and how they still don't know that he's back to being a Dhampir. I packed my bags and boarded a plane to Novosibirsk. It took me about a week to find them.

They were not used to living with a girl, and at first, it was weird because they lived in a two bedroom apartment with one restroom. And let me tell you, boys are _nasty_. But after I made some calls to my friend Sydney, she was able to provide us with an apartment with at three bedrooms and two bathrooms. So eventually we made a deal with the Alchemists. They tell us where they'd spotted Strigoi, and we kill them. In return, we get a better home, information updates, supplies, a way to disintegrate the body without waiting for the sun, and they record our kills.

Every so often, or when we'd completed ten kills, the boys and I go with a Dhampir tattoo artist and the record from the Alchemist to update our tats. For each ten kills, there's a special design that represents the death of ten Strigoi. I have a combination of tats. I have the two little lightning 'x' that represent Elena and Isaiah, the star which represents the war at the academy, two that represent ten kills each, and a couple more singles that I killed here and there. So officially I have my neck almost full. I'm not proud to wear the marks but they are a reminder.

I was walking down the alley checking for the nausea that alerted me of Strigoi when a woman bumped into to me. I guess I was too focussed on what I was doing to notice her.

"I'm sorry, it was completely my fault," I said while picking up her bag from the ground. The bag contained baby clothes, and I smiled at them because lately, I've been having weird dreams about babies. When I gathered everything, I got up and gave it to her but then dropped it again.

"Yeva?"

"Yes Rose, it's me," she responded and it took a second to realize she was speaking Russian. Ever since I moved in with the boys I've begun to understand Russian. I just can't speak it yet but I'm working on it.

"What are you doing here?"

"A strange dream came to me, and now I know why," she said while looking at me but paying more attention to my stomach.

"A dream? Like a spirit dream?"

"No, just a dream. What are you doing here Rose?"

"Umm. I left court." That's the first thing that came out of my mouth. I don't know if I should tell her about Dimitri or the reason why I left. I mean, she has the right to know. It's her grandson.

"I can see that, but why?"

For some odd reason, I wanted her to know the truth. I don't know if she likes me, but I feel like she should know everything and I tell why I've done and why I left. The weird thing is that she didn't react when I told her about Dimitri being Dhampir again. It's like she already knew or something.

"A dream came to me about Dimka, but I didn't know if it was true or a product of my desire, and for that I thank you."

I nodded."Will you tell the rest of the family?"

"No. If my grandson wants to see his family again he will go and explain. I can imagine how he is feeling right now. To him, his soul was what he treasured most. Of course, until you came along."

"Riiight. About that… I don't think he feels the same about me."

She gave me a piercing look. "Oh..Roza, if I know Dimka he is struggling right now. He is not easy on himself. He is probably feeling a lot of guilt and has no room for more."

"Yeah, he is."

"How are you feeling?"

"Huh? I'm ok. If this is what Dimitri wants, then I'm ok."

"Have you been feeling sick?"

I gave her a puzzled looked. "Umm, no. We don't get sick remember?" Her question was weird. She should know Dhampirs don't get ill.

"Are you sure? You haven't been feeling nauseous, sleep longer than usual, vomited once in a while?" she said, looking at me intently.

"What are you getting at, Yeva?"

"Roza, how can you be so clueless?"

"Hey! I'm not clueless!" I yelled at her because that comment got me really irritated.

"Calm down, child. It's not good for your condition."

"Condition? Are you ok, Yeva?"

She sighed and shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose just like Dimitri used to. She muttered something, but it was too quick for me to catch.

"Are you pregnant Rose?"

" _What?_ "

"Are you _pregnant_ Rose?"

"PREGNANT? Are you serious? I can't be pregnant!" What the hell is wrong with Yeva? Me? Pregnant? I'd only had sex with Dimitri twice, and he is a Dhampir. Everyone knows that Dhampirs can't have children together. I guess Yeva is going senile or something.

"Are you sure?"

"OF COURSE I'M SURE! I've only been with a Dhampir."

"Huh, that explains it," she said in a whisper but I still heard it

"Explains _what_?"

"Rose you're pregnant," she said, looking at me with serious eyes.

I laughed. "Yeva you are crazy, Dhampirs can't have children with other Dhampirs!" That old fool is definitely going senile.

"Believe what you want to believe, Rose. That child will be special. Take care of yourself now." And she took off. I stood, too stunned to reply. But after a minute I disregarded what she said and continued checking out the area that we were going to strike that night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The following weeks after Yeva's encounter I started noticing changes. I slept more. I couldn't hold food down. I had nausea around the clock, and my bras didn't fit. I also got fatter, but only on my lower stomach. My periods are still there. Short but I still got them. Shouldn't pregnant women not get periods? Damn that old fool for making me paranoid!

I went to the local pharmacy to get some first aid supplies. Last night it got nasty and Levi got injured. I was looking for the gauze when I noticed the section with the pregnancy tests. It can't hurt to get reassurance, right?

Old fool, I kept thinking. I'll prove for once and for all that I can't be pregnant. I'll even send her my negative results. I laughed at the idea of Yeva opening a letter to find only a negative pee-stick. I grabbed the closest test, all the while laughing at the idea of me being pregnant.

Once I bought the test, I went to the restroom in the pharmacy store. I followed the instructions carefully. I washed my hands, cleaned myself, peed, and waited three minutes. I caught myself pacing around the restroom stall waiting. Finally, the three minutes were up and looked at the test.

Positive.

What the fuck? This can't be true. I probably messed up. So because of that, I bought five more pregnancy tests. All different kinds. Positive. Every single one said positive.

Impossible. That's the only word in my head. Freaking Impossible.

I don't know how long I stayed there. Probably hours. I didn't even realize I'd sat down until one of the human workers came to ask me if I was ok. That got me out of my trance. I opened the restroom door and left. All I heard from the worker was 'Oh my'.

I stayed in my room all day and night for I don't know how many days. I was in shock I guess. The boys were concerned, but I told them I was ok. Thank God we weren't hunting. They'd been gathering information I think. Denis was the one updating me, but I only half listened. I don't know how I ate, but I saw the evidence in my room that I did have some food at least.

We were going out to hunt. Denis and the boys came and got me out of my funk. It turns out that the boys got evidence of Strigoi visiting a night club a few miles from where we were staying. They always hit a night club.

Something felt off. I don't know if I was still in shock but I wasn't in my game. We were walking towards the club. Our plan was two would go inside while two stayed outside to scout. I was the watch outside with Denis.

"Hey, are you ok Rose?" Denis asked in Russian.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied in English.

"Ok then."

That's what I like about Denis he doesn't butt in.

We were waiting for about three hours. The club would be closing soon, yet still, there was no sign of Strigoi. The boys came out from the club, reporting nothing but humans. We walked around the area when I felt nausea and alerted the boys.

Two Strigoi appeared in front of us. Both males, both skinny and tall. Moroi, once.

"Well well well. Aren't you an elite hunting party. Look, Daniel, they sent kids," one of the Strigoi said.

"Kids that will stake you!" Artur replied. He likes to taunt them. Both Strigoi laughed, and in that the moment we chose to strike.

Artur was first, while Levi went for the other Strigoi. Denis went to help Artur and I went with Levi. He was doing great but I could tell that the injuries from the previous fight made him a bit slower.

We were fighting the Strigoi as best and as fast as we could, but they moved a lot. They were old, making them much stronger and faster. I finally had a chance when Levi grabbed hold of him but the Strigoi went for a kick, making him open for me to strike. But instead of me taking the chance of staking him, I froze and protected my stomach.

That was enough for the Strigoi to get out of his hold and attack Levi. I stood there and watched as Artur finished Levi's Strigoi.

"What the hell Rose!" I heard Artur yell when the Strigoi was finally dead.

"Chill out man!" Denis replied.

"Dude, Rose froze and she let the shithead attack Levi!"

"Dammit Art! Shut the hell up, I'm ok."

"Rose are you ok?" Denis asked.

"Umm, no," I took a while to respond. I did, in fact, let the Strigoi attack Levi in favour of protecting whatever is inside me. I don't know what happened. One minute we are kicking ass, and the next I'm thinking about protecting my stomach. I'm a liability to the boys. When fighting Strigoi no one can afford to lose concentration, because that's how mistakes happen. Mistakes that lead to end of a life.

"Rose lets go home to get cleaned up ok?"

"Yeah, let's go," I agreed, and we walked back to the apartment.

The whole way back I was debating on whether to tell the boys my news or not. Where would I go if I left them? They're like family to me. I don't want to leave the only people that accepted me no questions asked. It will be a dick move if I just leave, but I need a doctor and not just any doctor. I need a doctor that knows about us and keeps quiet.

A week after the attack I finally decided to tell the boys I was leaving, but not the real reason. They didn't take it so well. Denis was the one that jumped first and said no, but I'd already made up my mind. I would have to leave and look for a doctor, but I hadn't figured that part out yet. One thing at a time.

I finally got to leave the gang after they refused to let me go. Even Artur apologized for the way he acted before. I told him it wasn't that but I needed to go and figure out something. I told him I would come back if everything was ok, and they finally let me go reluctantly.

I was walking in the middle of the plaza in the town we stayed in when I made a call to the person who could help me and could find a doctor. I dialled the number and waited.

"Well hello there."

"Hello, old man, I need your help."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"What a pleasant surprise that you have contacted me. Where are you? Everyone is looking for you, you know."

"Yes, I know but I need you to pick me up. I have something to tell you. I expect you already know my location, old man?"

"Of course, your mother would be delighted to know you contacted me. She is furious with you."

"Yes I can imagine, but I prefer if you don't let anyone know where I'm at for now, ok? We need to talk first."

"Yes of course. Your ride should not take long now."

And he was right. After we hanged up about twenty minutes passed when a fancy car pulled up and a guardian came out to opened the back door for me to get in.

We drove for another thirty minutes when we finally came to a stop. I got of say Abe's place was better than I imagine. I kinda imagined him living just in a big house extravagant like he is but not a freaking 3 floor mansion. I mean only royals get to live like this.

"Welcome to the house of Abe, kizim!"

"Welcome to the house of the great "zmey" don't you think?"

Abe was smiling and with open arms standing in front of his mansion's front door.

That old man likes to show off.

"Thank you Old man, or should I call you Baba now?"

I noticed that he faltered when I mentioned Baba which I guess surprised him that I knew that word. It means father in Turkish.

"Whatever you wish to call me kizim. Lets go to the office shall we."

Right down to business. Ha I guess I have inherited that trade from both my parents. They have no time for pleasantries like me.

"After you, old man"

His office was nothing less than I expected. The entire office was covered with wood shelves with room for large colorful paintings that only Abe will find intriguing. The entire area scream Abe's office and it was magnificent I got to say. Towards the end of the room contained a large wooden desk. The designed that made up the desk had me thinking that it was carved by hand because it had so much detail that I don't think a machine could of done it. Never thought I would like a desk.

"Close your mouth Kazim, you'll let the flies in"

"Well don't you live modest" Note the sarcasm.

"Well you know me. I'm the king of modesty" and he laughed at his own joke.

"So tell me Rose why did you contact me because I know it wasn't to make up for lost time between father and daughter"

"Right down to business I see"

"I got to say the curiosity is killing me" he smiled and I laughed.

"Of course, well you might want to sit down for this old man because I know you won't believe what I'll tell you"

"Ahh..A mystery I see, ok then talk" he said while sitting down behind his desk and I sat in one of the chairs on the other side.

I looked at him seriously trying to see if I should trust him or not but since I'm already here I guess there is no turning back.

"Before you hear what I got to say. You have to give me your word that you will not harm, disembodied, kill or torture the person responsible ok?" He furrowed his eyebrows but then turned serious.

"Get on with it Kizim"

"Abe give me your word"

"I give you my word that I will not harm, kill, torture, or disembodied the person responsible"

"And you will not send someone else to do it for you"

"Yes Rose I give you my word"

Satisfied with his answer. I signed.

Here goes nothing

"Ok baba, I'm pregnant" I actually cringed when saying the word pregnant.

Abe was silent. He was looking at me but I guess he was processing my words. Huh, I guess I got the 'Great Zmey' by surprise. I turned to look at Abe again I could see him going through different emotions all at once disbelieved, astonishment, and sadness. After a minute his face settled in mad. No scratch that, furious.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN PREGNANT? BY WHO? I WILL KILL HIM? I WILL THROW HIM IN A PIT FULL OF STRIGOI"

I haven't spent enough time with Abe to actually know him but I would imagine he was a man that stayed calm and collected through all kinds of situations. His face went from white to red in less than a second. His veins were popping out. I could probably see them bulging if I paid enough attention.

"Calm down Abe! Let me further explain"

"I need name and address."

"I will sent only two guardians and that should be enough"

Man, he wouldn't calmed down he kept walking up and down his office.

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN LITTLE GIRL! I WILL KILL THAT SON OF BITCH! GIVE ME HIS NAME"

"HE WILL BE KILLED BY TOMORROW MORNING. I SHOULD ALERT JEANINE."

I stood up and walked up to him to get his attention. Nothing made him stop pacing.

"ABE EITHER CALMED DOWN AND SIT DOWN OR I WILL WALK AWAY!"

That got his attention but stayed standing. He looked at me with the most fearsome eyes but I could tell it wasn't directed to me but to the situation. I sat down again and was about to continued with the story when Abe interrupted me again.

"That Ivashkov left you didn't he?"

"Adrian? No he didn't leave me"

"So he will acknowledge his child?"

"Adrian is not the father"

He seem stunned but recovered quickly.

"Then who?"

"This next part will require to be open-minded ok. I still can't believe it myself. I can't explain it but that's why I'm here today. You are the only one that I can think of that can help me."

"What are you trying to say Rose?"

Telling a stranger about your sex life is weird. Telling your father about your sex life is weirder but telling your father who practically is a stranger to you is the weirdest. For like the millionth time I sighed

"I only been with one man only." I cringed while saying it and I think Abe did too. Talking about your sexual partner to a parent has to be in at the top of the list of the weirdest things a girl has done.

"He is the father of this child I'm carrying"

"What's his name?"

I looked at him straight in the eye with desperation. I want him to believe me that I'm saying the truth. I know having a child with another dhampir when you yourself are a dhampir too is impossible. It has been since the beginning of time I guess.

"Please Baba, you have to believe me that I'm not lying or I'm trying to protect the real person. I know the impossible can't be possible but this time its true"

"Rose get on with it"

I signed and looked down at my feet. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I'm Rose Hathaway!

"The father is Dimitri"

"Dimitri as in Dimitri Belikov?"

"Yes who else would be Dimitri?" I said looking up at him now. He had a neutral face. I guess the zmey controlled himself again.

"Are you sure he is the father?"

What type of stupid question is that?

"OF COURSE I AM, HE'S THE FATHER!"

"ok ok calmed down its not good for you to get fired up now" he said while holding both his hands up.

"Aww look at you Old man already taking care of your grandson or grandaugther" and he smiled.

"He or she is already special. Born from two dhampirs touched by spirit"

What did he say?

"Spirit?"

Abe turned to me and looked at me confused.

"Yes spirit. Now Rose don't tell you didn't realized the common denominator with your impossible pregnancy"

"Ummm..no I just thought it was just an error of our DNA."

"Spirit is an element that we thought it was new but now. Spirit is an element that has roamed our world just like the others, but its very selective. I wonder how my grandson or daughter will come out to be."

"What do you mean? He or she will be dhampir right?" I suddenly was scared for whats inside of me. What if the baby is a freak since he or she is technically the product of what it thought to be impossible. What if he isn't born normal. A lot of scary thoughts came to my mind and I indistinctly covered my stomach. As soon as I did my worries subside. No, this baby has mine and Dimitri's blood he or she will be great. No matter what.

How can I feel so strong about a baby that I just find out I have inside me.?

"Rose you worry too much. What ever is that your thinking its not going to happen. The baby is already a special one. Only time will tell what he or she will become. If my theory is correct he will be a dhampir just like his parents. Speaking of parents, are you going to let the father know? What about your mother and friends?"

"No to the father and friends questions and I don't know about letting Mom know. She will really kill me now. Pregnancy was out of my league. I wasn't planning to get pregnant. Ever."

"Well I will respect your wishes regarding the father and friends but your mother will have me by the balls if she finds out I helped you and didn't tell her. I swear that woman is just amazing."

I stood there with a disgusted look on my face while my father was smiling like remembering a distant memory. Eww!

"Gross old man. So am I going to stay here or should I get an apartment or something?"

"Of course you'll stay here and I will get you and OBGYN to check you but it will take a while since your pregnancy isn't a normal one. Any suggestions on who can be trusted with this?"

"Abe I just found out about this pregnancy. I don't know any OBGYN but I do have a person that could help. Besides she's the one who put the thought of being pregnant on me."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Yeva. Dimitri's grandmother"

In less than a week Abe was able to get me an OBGYN. There was no one who knew about spirit so the OBGYN treated my pregnancy like any other. I had my first ultrasound the day she went to the house. Abe transformed one of his mansion's room into a hospital room. He bought everything I might need. I kept insisting that I didn't need it but he just blew me off.

I still remember when I first met Dr. Kuznetsov her American accent was heavy and it reminded me of Dimitri. Actually everything reminded me of Dimitri, I swear the pregnancy hormones are making me emotionally weak.

 _*Flashback*_

 _I was laying down in the bed. Abe gave me one of the main rooms so I can sleep. It was pretty big easily 10 times bigger than my room in the academy and more luxurious of course. Abe's mansion is a dream come true. He even has a gym for his guardians but won't allow me to use it until I get an all cleared from the doc. He even told his staff about not allowing inside. I couldn't sneak in._

 _Abe informed me that the Dr. was arriving in the afternoon. After our greetings she started asking about when was the last day of my last menstrual cycle, how many sexual partners I had in my life, or if I drink alcohol or done any drugs. The questions went on and on she then started doing the physical assessment she had me strip off my clothes and started checking my breasts. They were tendered but she said it was normal. She pushed down on my stomach and I found the urge to pee. She told me it was a normal feeling since the baby is on top on my bladder but later will move upwards as he/she grows and when the time comes closer to the delivery he/she will sit on my bladder again. She even had me spread my legs open so she can get some samples. I refused at first but she said it was a routine procedure that has to be done so I reluctantly opened my legs so she can examine me. After she was done it was time for the ultrasound so she can measure the baby and make sure she/he is ok._

 _This was the part I was waiting for. This part is the proof that I am really going to have a baby. I was really excited until I remembered that my baby doesn't have a father and that I am alone. To think that all I wanted was to be Lissa's guardian. I still want to be her guardian if the Gods ever let me but that wish is so far away. I miss my best friend._

 _"OK Rose, ready to see your baby?"_

 _"Yes, but wait I think Abe wanted to be here too. Can I call him?"_

 _"Sure, just put your clothes back on and pull up your shirt halfway and pull down your pants. I'll call him while you do that" and she left but came right back with Abe hot on her heels. I guess he was right outside the door._

 _"Did they do the ultrasound already?"_

 _"No, I thought you wanted to be here"_

 _"Of course Kizim!"_

 _The doc told me she was going to try to see if the baby can be seen with the ultrasound wand that is not invasive. Normally when she does a first ultrasound they use a stick that is covered in a plastic or a condom if you ask me and stick it inside you but she thinks she can use the wand that goes over my belly to see the baby._

 _She applies a warm gel and presses the wand down on my belly. I feel the pressure but I stay quite. The doc pushes some buttons and all of the sudden the room is full of the sound of what I can describe as galloping horses. I can't see a baby. I don't know why I thought I would see a really baby shape but that's not what the screen displays. I really don't know what it is._

 _"What is that sound?"_

 _"That is the heart but.."_

 _"But what doctor?" Abe asked._

 _The doctor was moving the wand side to side up and down while continuing pressing some buttons on the machine. She didn't hear Abe's question she was more focused on the screen. I suddenly panicked._

 _"BUT what doctor? Is there a baby in there?"_

 _"Umm I don't know how you will take it Rose, but you are not having a baby you are having twins"_

 _I stayed looking into her eyes while she smiled. I was dead silent. I couldn't process what she just had said. Twins? Did I hear right?_

 _"T-twins?" I said in an almost scared voice._

 _"Yes twins!"_

 _"Magnificent!" Abe yelled._

 _"Look Rose" and she pointed to the screen. In the screen I saw what looked like a water balloon and inside that balloon there was two little bean shape weird looking things._

 _"The sound you hear are the babies hearts beats. They beat almost in rhythm. I had to isolate each to hear if they were beating normal. Congratulations your going to have identical twins. The twins are in the same amniotic sac if they were in two different sacs they would of have been fraternal twins. Now the sex of the babies will no be determined until a couple of weeks so you have to wait. Do you have any questions?"_

 _"No, thank you Dr. Kuznetsov" Abe replied. I was still too stunned to answer._

 _"I'll print two copies for you so you can keep. You are about 8 weeks pregnant. About two months. We will see each other every month if there is any problems or any change please call me. Please take the Vitamins it is very important. Lots of fluids and no extraneous exercise. You are allowed to do mild to moderate, but as you grow you will need to slow it down."_

 **I was suggested to get a Beta, but since it's my first story ever I don't know how to find one.**

 **If anyone knows or is interested, please let me know.**

 **Any ideas that you may have will be appreciated. Thanks!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

*At five months*

I was doing some light jogging in one of the treadmills in Abe's gym. The mansion's basement was made into a huge gym for his guardians. It has 5 machines of every piece of gym equipment you can imagine needed to work out and condtion yourself. It even has a separate room for massages when desired, a designated section to spar equipped with mats, and it even has a space to train with dummies also equipped with various weapons. Abe really takes care of his guardians, not only does he have the gym just for them, he also provided a firing range and made an entertainment room designated for guardians when they are off and don't want to leave the mansion. I visited the entertainment room a couple of times and it's exactly what any man would want their man cave to look like. It has a pool table, an eight person octagonal poker table, a foosball table, an air hockey table, a basketball arcade game, he even set a section to play video games or watch movies with movie theatre-like seats and, of course. a bar. He once told me he likes to keep his guardians well taken care of, and let me tell you that Abe's guardians are more well taken care of than guardians that serve with some Royals.

Dr. Kuznetsov gave me the all clear to do some exercises as long as I don't over do it, and jogging apparently fits the description of 'not over doing it'. So it's going to be light jogging from now on, and a lot of meditation, even if I suck at it. I get distracted too often. A fly is more interesting than concentrating on your energy flow and having your mind blank. Oksana and Mark are helping me get the hand of meditating. I have to get rid off Lissa's darkness some how that doesn't involve extraneous physical activity. That's how Oksana and her husband came on board into helping Rose and her miracle pregnancy train. But if you ask me, I think what drew them here was the pregnancy fact. I think they want to find out exactly how I got pregnant, it's a miracle and it gives Oksana more information about spirit. I don't care. They are good people and if I can help then so be it.

"Kizim?"

"No Abe, not yet."

"She needs to know Rosemarie."

"Not right now Baba." Abe has been trying to get me to tell my mom about my current situation, but I can't seem to find the courage. See! This pregnancy has me turned into something I thought I would never become. The old Rose would never fear her mother, but the new Rose does. I know she didn't want me to fall pregnant, but in my defense how would I have I could fall pregnant from Dimitri?

"Well…Rose, you see I might have slipped something about finding you and she might be on her way."

I stopped the treadmill and ran to him.

"What do you mean you kind of slipped up?" I asked, pointing my index finger at him. I know its rude. "You don't just slip up. I can't believe you after I told you that I needed time. I can't just pop the surprise on mom 'hey mom by the way I'm pregnant and Dimitri's the father which he still doesn't know' are you trying to get me to go into labor already, Old man?"

"Calm down Kizim. You know you need to calm down for the twins and yourself."

"Don't tell me to calm down, Old man! I told you multiple times why I didn't want people to know about my pregnancy. The less people know the better. The twins aren't even here yet and I'm already making sacrifices for them. I've been stuck in this mansion since I got here. I don't want people to know that I'm here." People will believe I was lying about the parentage of the twins, or that I was too ashamed about falling pregnant, so making up a lie was better for me.

"It's been months Kizim, don't you want to see your friends? I know you've been couped up here, but you need to tell them about the twins. What's going to happen after the twins are born. What are you going to do? Are you planning on being stuck here with them forever?"

I'm not going to lie, I've missed my friends so much, especially now that my hormones are out of wack. Adrian visited my dreams a couple of nights. Thank God he chooses the place and how I look because he would start questioning me if I appeared pregnant in one of the dreams. We always talk about everyone except Dimitri. He tells me how Christian is still mad about the Queen's plans for Adrian to marry Lissa. How Lissa is doing, and how Tatiana is trying to mold her and make her an apprentice so to speak. Adrian thinks his Great-Aunt has Lissa so close because she wants her to be the next Queen. I wouldn't be surprised. She's an excellent candidate.

Lissa has gotten into the habit of talking to me, even though she knows I can't respond. She says she feels my presence now, and when she does she talks to me about her desire to see me. She knows I take away the darkness from her, and every time I do she thanks me for it. I don't stay long in her mind because she is always surrounded with Guardians, and in that line of protection she has Dimitri. I don't hate him. He just did the one thing that I thought no one could ever do. He broke me, and I don't think I'll be able to recover.

I broke out of my thoughts when Abe said something alarming.

"What did you say?"

"I said that your mother is to arrive in 2 days."

"Two days!"

"Yes. Also I suggest you get cleaned up because the doctor is coming, remember today we find out what you are having!"

That's right. Today I find out the sex of the twins. The doctor tried to determine the sex, but the little rascals are always in an embrace making it hard to see. The doctor says that as they grow I will be able to feel their movements. I feel little movements here and there but nothing major like a kick. They are developing at a normal rate and they are doing just fine, according to doc.

After I showered and changed I went to the room that Abe set up for my delivery. He said it was an examining room/laboratory room/delivery room. To me it just looks like a big maternity hospital room. Its equipped with a hospital looking bed that I'm pretty sure it wasn't cheap, two baby warmers machinery, an external fetal monitor, and two 'crash carts' one for an adult and one for newborn. He says the crash carts are equipped for emergency situations only. My plan is to have them naturally if I can but if I can't I will go to a private hospital and have a C-section.

"Good Afternoon, Rosemarie, you look radiant, how are you feeling?"

"I'm doing great. I don't know why women complain about pregnancies I mean I haven't experienced any pain or anything. I haven't been able to feel a kick but I do feel little movement here and there but I think its just gas," and she laughs.

"You're young and still too early on the pregnancy, that's why. As the babies grow they have less space. The less space there is, the more you feel. And having twins will speed up the process. Trust me you will feel it, especially against your ribs. Don't try to rush into things. Enjoy this time, because from six months until delivery you'll start feeling the pain. And it will only get worse as the time passes."

My mind went straight to imagining two little fighters hitting the shit out of my insides. I unconsciously rubbed my stomach.

"Ok."

"Ok let's start by checking you physically, and then we can do the ultrasound in the end since that's the best part. You know what to do."

The doctor gave me a cup I have to pee every time she comes. She brings her portable lab machines to check whatever there is in my urine. I guess my pee is ok since she never comments about it. After she checks my urine, she checks my blood pressure, my weight, my temperature, my stomach, and she even pinches my nipples. I once asked her why she squeezes them, but she just said she was checking for discharge. She asked if I was going to breastfeed or bottlefeed. I personally did not know the difference, but everyone that has known about my pregnancy says that breastfed is better than bottlefed. There's a lot I don't know about having a baby and I hate it. I'm a straight forward person, but having the responsibility of taking care of someone without knowing what you're up against is insane. Pregnancy and motherhood is harder than killing strigoi.

"Ok Rose, everything is doing just fine. You're in your sixteenth week. Next month you'll be on your twentieth week and we'll repeat the tests from when I first saw you. Remember?"

Yes, how can I forget that sugar test? Bleh!

"Yes."

"OK let's get to the ultrasound machine. You want to get Abe?"

I was about to answer when he came in. Huh, I guess he was listening by the door.

"No need, I'm here."

"Aren't you a little too old for eavesdrop Old man?"

"Never!"

The first thing I heard when the doctor put the wand on my stomach was my baby's heart beats. I loved those sounds. I saw them on the screen. They look more like babies already. I can't believe they are my babies. That I'm carrying two little half-vampire beings inside me. After she did her check ups she turned to me.

"Now are you sure you want to know the sex of the babies?"

"Yes!" My father and I yelled excitedly and the doctor laughed.

"Ok, then baby A is a…Boy!"

A boy! Wow! I'm having a boy.

"Baby B is a…..boy too! Congratulations Rose!"

Two boys. I'm having two boys!

"That is excellent news Kizim two healthy boys! I have to tell Yeva and the others. They wanted to know the sex of the twins as soon as possible."

"Here you go Rose and Abe, this is for you to keep."

She printed the pictures of my two boys. I held the printed sheet and looked at them. My two boys were so close to each other, like if they were hugging. I felt a move inside of me. I guess it was a kick or they were just repositioning. I'm pretty sure they are starting to feel cramped. I looked back at the picture and vowed that my sons would not know rejection or have the fear of rejection. I want them to have as normal a life as possible. A life full of joy, but at the same time discipline. They will train to be the best fighters, just like their parents. Fighting would be second nature to them, like it is to their father and I. I can just imagine the trouble these two will give me and if they share half my DNA I won't be surprised how terrible they come out.

I was picturing the boys grown up when unexpectedly was sucked into Lissa's mind.

"Christian please!"

"No Lissa, enough is enough, you have to stop, you've become obsessed. If Rose wanted to be found, she would've appeared already! Don't you get it, she wants to be left alone."

"No she wouldn't leave me like that, she knows how much I need her, she's my best friend!"

"Best friend! How much do you really know her? How much do you know your best friend?"

"We've been together since we were four, I know her more than you know."

"Then why did she leave then if you know her so well?"

"Be- Because she was frustrated."

"Frustrated with who?"

"I know she was not taking Dimitri's avoidance too well, but you know how she is. She won't stop pushing until she gets her point across and makes that person change their views."

"Oh Lissa you claim you know your best friend but you are so clueless about her. Adrian, who hasn't known her for so long, knows what she's going through. Hell even I know what she's going through."

"What do you mean 'going through'?"

"Lissa her love of her life rejected her after everything she went through to get him back."

"Yes, I know that, but she needs to understand that Dimitri's mental state is on the mend. It's hard for him to accept and have closure after what he did when he was strigoi."

"Yes, I can't begin to imagine what he is going through. But you never try to help Rose with Dimitri. Dimitri worships you. He literally kisses the path you walk on. Instead of helping Rose, you kept her away by telling her to be patient and that Dimitri needed time. Since when have you seen Rose be patient? Particularly when it involves a person she loved, thought she lost, and came back from the dead? Put yourself in her shoes, would you have been patient?"

I couldn't see Lissa's face, but her silence said it all. Guilt is what she was feeling. That's when I pulled myself out. She was mentally preoccupied, so it gave me the strength to get the hell out. But not before I heard her said "Oh God."

* * *

 **Hey guys, sorry for the delay in uploading the chapter. I promise I haven't forgotten about writing.**

 **I want to Thank by Beta Swimming In the Same Deep Waters. She has giving me excellent advice with this story.**

 **Hit me up if you got any questions or suggestions too!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Today is the day.

Today I'm going to see my mother for the first time in months.

Today my dear mother finds out about my pregnancy.

I was currently pacing inside my room. Nervous and stressed. Even the twins felt something was worrying me, because they were more active than usual. It's uncomfortable when they move like that much.

"Calm down boys, your mother is just worried out about your grandma finding out about you guys." I started rubbing my stomach. I often found myself doing that unconsciously. I guess its second nature already. A mother calming their young.

I wonder if this is how my mother felt when she was pregnant with me? The nervousness and stress over falling pregnant young. I wonder if she was ever stressed about telling her mother? I never thought about my family that far beyond my mother. I never asked about them. Judging by the way I was brought up, and how unaffectionate my mother is, I could guess that my grandmother did the same thing my mother did to me. My grandmother probably left my mother in the academy and never looked back. If my mother were born in a Dhampir commune, she'd probably be more affectionate like Olena and the other women there. The Hathaway bloodline was probably made up of very dedicated Dhampir who knew the only way to continue to protect Moroi is to procreate. It's not a secret to everyone that I'm a disappointment to my mother. I haven't been dedicated to my job like I once vowed to be. I ran away three times already, and now I'd fallen pregnant at a young age.

"ROSE!"

It's time. I can hear her coming down the hall. I can practically sense her mood and it's definitely not a cheerful one.

"ROSE, Where are you?" Hi Mom. How was your flight?" I whispered to no one.

"ROSE!"

"Janine you don't have to yell! I'm right here."

"Then open the door!"

I was still in my room, locked inside like a little child scared because she knows she did something bad and didn't want her mother to come after her.

I focused on the shaking double wooden door. Janine must be knocking the shit out of it to make this massive wooden door shake as though an earthquake were taking place instead of a 5'4 enraged woman banging at it with her fists.

"Open the door Rosemarie!"

I know she won't stop until either I open it or the door is on the ground.

"I'm not going to open it until you've calmed down and I explain some things!" I yelled at her.

"What things? Open the door Rosemarie. How could you leave court like that? Your duty? Is being a Guardian a game to you?"

I knew this was going to be difficult.

"Please Mom. Just hear me out, first, and then you can come in," I said with the calmest voice I could muster. I even said please. She was still trying to open the door.

"Go on then."

Wow. I was surprised she was letting me explain. Abe must be next to her persuading her to listen. I focused my breathing, and sure enough I heard Abe. I didn't know what he was saying since he was whispering, but I knew he was trying to calm my mother enough for her to actually listen to me.

I stood leaning against the door with just my forehead, not knowing how to start divulging my secret. I guess the beginning is always the best way to go. Once I start talking I know I won't stop.

"I left court because I found no purpose being there anymore. I tried so hard and went through so much but got nothing in return. I was tired. I was not looking for glorification but I wanted recognition and not from all people, but just from the person I went through hell to follow. Yes, call me stupid, ignorant, childish, glory seeking or whatever is it that you want. I don't care. The night before I left from court I had the best night ever. The person that I wanted was there with me and I couldn't have been happier. I thought things would change but it all turned to my worst nightmare the following day."

I stopped to take a breath. Mom was silent on the other side of the door, so I could only guess she was listening.

"I couldn't take it anymore. I loved so hard and I tried to hold on to that hope, but at the end it crushed me until only dust was left. I didn't want to feel like that anymore and knowing that the person who did this was going to be at court all the time made me decide that I didn't want any part of it. Lissa was doing what she thought was right, but it wasn't for me so I ran. Yes, I was stupid to run again but I couldn't take it anymore. A few days out turned into weeks and into months. A little while back I started feeling weird but dismissed it. It took one person to look at me and know what was wrong with me. Of course, I didn't believe her, I mean its impossible. After I found out it was true, I contacted Abe and he has helped me since then."

I was met with silence. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the tears in my mouth. Even the twins were calmed as if they were waiting too.

"What are you talking about? I don't understand. Open the door so we can talk face-to-face Rosemarie. Everyone is looking for you. Do you know how hard was to keep your location a secret after I found out? Lissa is still sending search parties for you. Every one is looking for you, but you fell off the face of the earth. You pulled another stupid vanishing stunt! I couldn't believe Ibrahim when he said you were with him in Russia. I had to take the first flight here."

I was still leaning against my bedroom door. The one Janine is currently trying to get in to. I don't want to see her. I don't want to see anyone, because I know what's coming. I know that they won't take my news lightly like the others. I know I won't get support from my mother. I would only get rejection. She has neglected me since I was 4 years old, and let me tell you it hurts like hell to a kid that age. I eventually grew up and didn't care, but the feeling of not being wanted is still there in the back of my head. My sons will not go through that. I will be more involved in my sons' lives, even if they spend more time in the academy than with me. I don't care how I will do it, but my sons would never feel what I felt at a young age or go through the same struggles as I did. The academy made me who I am. I might be the best of my class, but I'm not stupid. I know I'm reckless and don't follow the norm. And being best doesn't mean anything.

"Why aren't you opening the door?"

I focused back on the present.

"I will open the door, but you have to be open minded. I didn't know that this was going to happen. It's impossible, but for some reason it happened to me." Just like everything happens to me.

"Rose just open the door."

I took a breather and leaned away from the door. One, two, three. Come on Rose. Being a coward isn't you. I gave myself a pep talk to muster the courage. But to tell the truth, I wanted to run away the other way.

I slowly opened my door while finding the floor more interesting than the person in front of me. I could only see my mother's feet when I opened the door fully. I then forced myself to look at my mother's face.

What I saw was something I was already expecting. Her face went from being angry to shocked to furious.

"Who was it?" She asked in the calmest voice she could speak, but I could hear she was trying to control herself.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I didn't plan it I swear." I couldn't look into her eyes, so I looked at the floor again hating myself for not having the courage.

"Rose why? How could you be so stupid and let yourself get pregnant? You are still too young to be a mother. Didn't you listen to me the day I pulled you out of that party? Who is the father Rose? Is it Ivashkov? Did he promise you marriage? Money?" With that comment I whipped my head up so fast that I gave myself a whiplash. Adrian? Money? How can she think so poorly of me?

"NO! It is not Adrian's!"

"Then whose is it?"

"You won't believe me if I told you," I said, trying to calm down when I felt a kick.

"Try me!"

I looked at Janine, and all I saw was anger and disappointment. The two things I didn't want to see. I know I haven't expressed my love for my mother, but she is still my mother and a great Guardian at that. Seeing her disappointed, again, because of me SUCKS!

"I know you want a name and I will give it to you. But keep in mind a few things. Remember first, I was touched by Spirit when Lissa brought me back to life. Second, we don't know the extent of Spirit's magic. Third, the person who is half responsible for these babies was also touched by Spirit. Finally, I've only been with one person. Only one." I added that last comment so she won't think it was some other Moroi.

"Damn it Rose who is the father?"

Yup, she was still mad. I looked at Abe who was silent this whole time. I saw him nod his head and I understood that he wanted me to tell her.

Here goes nothing again.

"It's Dimitri. He's the father."

She stood silent for a second before getting more pissed.

"DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID TO BELIEVE THAT A DHAMPIR GOT YOU PREGNANT! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING? ARE YOU THAT THOUGHTLESS?"

My so-called self control was out the window. Abe could sense it, because he was right in front of me trying to calm me down.

"I TOLD YOU, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME! THE TWINS ARE DIMITRI'S. I KNOW HE'S A FUCKING DHAMPIR. BEING ONE HE SHOULD BE UNABLE TO CONCEIVE A CHILD WITH ANOTHER DHAMPIR, BUT LOOK AT ME. IM PREGNANT!" I yelled at her while feeling a massive headache already forming.

"We both got touched by Spirit. That's the only common denominator here. I can't explain how this impossibility happened, but it did and I'm doing the best I can." I knew I looked defeated. I knew my mother was going to react like this.

"Janine, keep an open mind. Rose is telling the truth." She turned to him.

"HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE HER IBRAHIM? YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THAT DHAMPIRS CANNOT CONCEIVE! SHE IS LYING ABOUT THE FATHER!"

"STOP THIS INSTANT JANINE. SHE IS OUR DAUGHTER AND IT IS OUR JOB TO BELIEVE WHAT SHE SAYS. SHE IS NOT LYING ABOUT THE FATHER. YOU DIDN'T SEE HER THE DAY SHE CAME TO ME. I SAW RIGHT AWAY THAT SHE WAS SCARED. And when we found out that she was, in fact, pregnant she couldn't believe it herself." I've never seen Abe this angry. I can see why they call him Zmey. Abe angry is terrifying. It even gave me the chills looking at him. My mother was speechless.

"You don't know Rose. She was an accomplished lier since she began to speak, practically. Maybe she's protecting someone?"

"You know damn well, that I kept an eye on Rose all her life. Since the day we decided to go our separate ways I've kept an eye on her. Even when she was at the academy. My resources constantly updated me on her. I even have pictures of her through the years. She informed me of Rose's behavior, accomplishments and of course her misconducts. I know my daughter even if I wasn't there with her. She wouldn't lie and fabricate this. She's not stupid. The real question here is do you know your own daughter?"

I was taken by surprise again by Abe's behavior. Never would I have imagined that I had someone looking out for me during my academy years. Lissa and her family took me in as a second daughter. I first knew what family love was thanks to them. But they were Moroi and it wasn't the same. Then Olena and her family came into the picture, and I found out about the different life that Dhampir communes have to offer. It wasn't what I thought it was. His family showed me differently.

I can't say it enough. This pregnancy has turned me into a smush. I'm feeling very emotional over Abe's statement.

"Is that true?" I looked at my mother and she just simply nodded.

I turned to Abe.

"Why?"

"Why are you even asking kazim? I may not have been part of your life, but trust me I have always kept a close eye on you. You are my only daughter, and I'll always protect you. Yes, you grew up alone but I was always watching you. I know all the grades you got and the disciplinary actions you had. I even know about all the times you visited the infirmary. The only thing I don't know was when you left."

Thinking back I guess I know who his informant was, because she would always take pictures of our group. Alberta would sometimes record class 'to see our progress' but maybe she recorded it to send it to my father.

"Oh Baba, you always find a way to surprise me." He chuckled at my comment.

My mother cleared her throat and we turned to her. She held my gaze for longer than the usual. I know she was debating on believing me. I felt like she was judging me.

"I'm sorry Rose, I shouldn't have treated you like that."

Wow today was full of surprises. Janine apologizing was a humongous surprise.

"I understand, don't worry about it." I didn't say anything else. We didn't hug or have an affectionate moment. We just had a silent agreement. That's how we were.

Abe, my mother, and I spent more time talking about the whole situation and I was trying to explain to my Mom our theories that spirit is the key to my miracle pregnancy. She was surprised I was having twin boys. She told me she was going to kill Dimitri when she got back, but I begged her not to say or do anything. She didn't understand why I was protecting him after he walked out on me. She didn't like that I didn't want to tell him about him being a father. I told her it was for the best for now.

Later that evening we heard one of Abe's maids answer the front door. We were walking towards the dining room when I heard the voice that I would recognize anywhere. I quickly ran to the front door.

"Adrian?"

"Little dhampir?"

Adrian looked down to my body and froze. He stood there staring at my stomach, and after what felt an eternity he finally looked up.

"I'm going to kill him."

That's all he said and turned around towards the gate. I went up to him to try and stop him.

"Adrian stop. Please Adrian stop!"

He turned around and looked me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen him with. I could see the pain in his eyes, and it made my heart break.

"He doesn't know Adrian."

"It doesn't matter, you didn't deserve this."

"Please Adrian, don't do something stupid."

"I won't be doing anything stupid. I will make him pay for this. He is the reason you ran away Rose. And he's the reason you're pregnant."

"How did you know I was here?"

"I was practicing Spirit when your mom received a call. I didn't eavesdrop, I just heard your name and I saw the changes in her aura. It intrigued me, because after that call she announced she was leaving for some work stuff. I could tell she was lying so I decided to follow her and here I am."

"How did you know that Dimitri is the father?"

He sighed. "Because I know you Rose. You'd only give yourself to him. Now my question is, when did you get pregnant?"

"The night before I left. He came to my room, but didn't say much. He started kissing me and well that led to other things. The following morning he rejected me completely and you know the rest."

Adrian just stared at me. I can only guess he was looking at my aura.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah Adrian. I'll be ok. You know you reacted pretty cool about this," I said while pointing to my stomach.

"It doesn't take a genius to know that Spirit was involved."

"Well tell that to Janine who came in and yelled at me for 'being stupid'."

"She's your mother. She wants the best for you. Plus she doesn't understand Spirit."

"Yeah I know. But her judgment was there before I could explain. You know she thought that the twins were yours."

"Twins? Wow you're having twins?"

"Yup, two boys."

"Do you have any names yet?"

"No, not yet. We only just found out the sex."

That's why I like Adrian. He doesn't judge me or jump to conclusions. He goes with the flow. I know he has a lot of questions, but he won't voice them - or at least not yet. He understands me, and doesn't push me for answers that he knows I don't know or am not ready to give. I went to hug him, because I am happy to see him and because I missed him so much. He hugged me just as hard, and I knew he'd missed me too.

 **That was chapter 8, I hope you guys liked it. :)**

 **I want to thank my beta Swimming the Same Deep Waters for her patience and guidance. She's been Great!**

 **P.s Just a reminder guys this is a Dimitri & Rose love. Its NOT Adrian and Rose but I liked their friendship.**

 **Like always let me know what you guys think!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

*36 weeks*

Fuck! I can't move an inch with this mountain everyone else calls a stomach. Damn the father and his 6 ft 7 genes! I feel that these babies are stretching me in every direction. Any move I make hurts. The baby expert says it's because it's cramped inside me, and the babies are very active. She's right. They both kick like crazy. I'm good with pain, but this pain is coming from my insides. I picture the twins laughing inside me while they squish my intestines and jump on my bladder. I know it sounds crazy, but it sure feels like that's what they're doing.

I had to lay off any sugary or caffeinated food because every time I ate chocolate or drank caffeine it seemed that the torture would never end! Leaving sugar has been the greatest sacrifice of all. I can handle the swelling and the going to pee every two minutes. I can even handle that my boobs are twice their normal size and tender. But laying off caffeine and sugar is just plain cruel. I'm going into withdrawal with mood swings and projecting onto anyone near me. I'm not pleasurable company these days. Everyone seems to run the other way when I'm near.

"Going to the restroom again, Rose?"

"Yes," I said while trying to get up from my seat. I was sitting in Abe's home theater currently struggling to lift myself up. Adrian and I decided to watch a movie about the vampire who fell in love with the human girl but couldn't be together with her because he wanted her blood too. Adrian and I love to critique vampire movies. It's one of our things.

"At the rate you're going, you might want to roll to the floor instead of walking."

"Shut it, Ivashkov! You know I would whoop your ass right now if I could."

"Yes, I know. But thank God you can't move as fast as you used to."

"I might not be fast in walking, but my aim hasn't changed," I gloated, throwing the pillow I had for back support straight into his annoying face. He just laughed, not caring I was getting annoyed with him.

"Don't relax too much, Adrian. Remember this pregnancy can't last forever."

Adrian and my mother had both jumped on board the 'helping Rose in her miracle pregnancy' train. They worked together to plan how they would explain their disappearance for weeks at a time back at court. They said that they needed to keep an eye on things there. Adrian got information about Lissa, while Janine got news about my other friends. Who knew, right? Adrian and Janine working together and getting along civilly. Both would leave for court for a for a week or two, then return for a week or so. Adrian had been trying to convince Lissa to stop the search party for me however she won't give up. Even though she thought I was dead. Surprisingly it was Dimitri reassuring her I was still alive.

I've been doing so much better blocking her and getting rid of her darkness through meditation. I love the peacefulness I feel when I meditate. It's something we must all enjoy because the twins lie completely still when I do it. Oskana, Mark and Yeva have been excellent help getting me get through this pregnancy. I've needed assistance, because thanks to no sugar my moods have been out of this world, lately. I can barely walk without getting tired, and I can't see my feet anymore. I actually wobble. I asked my OB if I could try for a vaginal birth, but she said most women with twins end up with a C-section due to the stress of labor on Mom and the babies.

Adrian and Oskana did an experiment with the twins. They tried to see if they could see the twins' auras. To my surprise, they could. The two spirit users said that their auras are a shade of pink and that it turns darker when I talk. It seems they love hearing my voice.

"Little dhampir?"

"I'm coming out, Adrian. Can't a girl do her business peacefully?"

"I was just making sure you were still alive. You take so long."

"I'm alive, Adrian. I just went to the restroom for God's sake and you know this is a challenge. You worry too much." I said through the door while trying to pick up my pants. Thank God for whoever invented pregnancy pants.

"So how were Lissa and the others the last time you went?" I asked while washing my hands and drying them.

"They're ok. My dear auntie is keeping Lissa busy. She's getting ready to go to Lehigh. She doesn't want to go without you, but my aunt can be very persuasive. Eddie is with her all the time, he doesn't say anything, but I know he worries especially when Lissa gets her depressed and has mood swings. Di.."

"I don't want to know anything about him," I said, quickly cutting Adrian off.

"Christian and his aunt are talking about a more affordable college, but he hasn't decided yet," Adrian continued as though he'd not been about to mention her Russian God.

"When is she going?"

"Term starts in a couple of weeks. She has an apartment and all."

"Who is going as her guardians?"

"I believe Eddie is going as well as you know who."

"No female is guardian going to be her near guard?"

"I'm sure she will have one, but she doesn't want anyone but you."

"Oh, Lissa. She's always been a stubborn one."

"Just like someone else I know," he said, giving me a knowing look.

"When do you leave?"

"In the morning. I'll only be gone for a week this time. You're getting close to your due date, and I won't hear the end of it if I miss the troublemakers' birth."

"I know! I can barely walk and everything hurts. This is brutal. Whoever said pregnancy was fun clearly hasn't been pregnant!"

"Come on big baby. Time to take you for a roll. I mean a walk. The doctor wants you to walk."

"Enough with the fat comments, jerk!"

I followed Adrian from the hallway restroom out to the garden. I liked walking Abe's grounds. The scenery is beautiful, even for an arctic wasteland. I had a brief memory of when I was talking with Dimitri about how I imagined Siberia. It seems ages ago, now.

"So have you given any thought about what I told you?" Adrian asked.

"About what?" I made it seem like I didn't know what he was talking about.

"You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb with me, little dhampir."

Busted.

I kept walking. We were already pretty far from the mansion. Not very smart, but I know Abe had a guardian or two flanking us. I argued with him about having guardians following me, because come on, guardians protecting another guardian is just crazy. But it was a no-win for me. Abe was relentless about my protection. Add Janine and the others, and it was a lost cause. I didn't mind it when Adrian was around. I wouldn't be able to protect him like I was trained to.

"Adrian you know I c-ca.."

Adrian stopped and walked in front of me, extending his arms.

"Wait. Before you say all the reasons you can't, I want you to know that everyone is getting desperate. You've been gone for almost a year! Rose, they think you're dead because you haven't contacted them. You know how hard is for me and your Mom to keep up the pretense. Do you know how hard it is for me to fake a distraught emotion in front of our friends every time they come up with another dead end? They are starting to wonder about my disappearances, too. Don't you want to see them? Share this wonderful gift with your friends that love you? I know you feel Lissa's darkness. You haven't been taking her darkness like you used to, and it's consuming her. The craziness is making her think that you are dead."

"You know I can't pull too much darkness from her. It's not good for the pregnancy right know. Every time I pull any, the twins react to it. The meditation can only help if I truly concentrate. And even if I do take some, I can't pull all of it - especially now that she's using spirit like crazy."

"That's why I'm telling you. It's time to go back. Don't you think you've had enough time away? What about Dimitri, Rose? Don't you think he has the right to know about his children? He already missed all your pregnancy. Are you willing to make him miss the birth of the twins too? Are you even planning on ever telling him about them?"

At the mention of his name I flinched. It still hurts after all this time. I avoided any mention of his name. I know it's childish. You might think a name can't possibly hurt you. Well, let me tell you, it does. The mention of his name. A smell that reminds me of him. A freaking duster that looks like the one he wears. Even a dark ponytail reminds me of him. When he comes to my mind, the pain still comes to my heart. I physically feel the hurt. It's like pressure surrounding my heart that doesn't let it beat. The only way I can describe it is as though air was being pressed against my heart, rendering it unable to pump like it should.

"If I had a child with some one, I would want to know. I am not a fan of Belikov, but at least give him a chance. He has to decide if he wants to be part of the twins' lives." Adrian sighed theatrically. "I can't believe I'm actually advocating on behalf of this guy."

Adrian fighting on behalf of Dimitri was unheard of.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I know you better than you know yourself right now. I know that you miss your friends and the only reason you are still here after all this time is because of the twins. You like that Yeva, Abe, Janine, Oskana and Mark are helping you, but I know you want Lissa and the others to know as well."

"What if they don't take me back? What if they don't believe me? What if they don't accept the boys?"

Adrian had a sceptical look.

"Rose, are you talking about your friends or Dimitri?"

"O-Of course I'm talking about my friends!"

"Your aura is telling me something different," he accused.

I gave up and looked up at sky. The sun was setting, rendering the sky full of beautiful multi-colors. Dark orange, light orange, even some blue. Stars were starting to show up, making the sunset even more stunning. It was truly beautiful. While still looking up, I told Adrian what was eating me up.

"I'm afraid Adrian. Yes, I know. Unbelievable, right? I'm afraid what they will think of me. I'm afraid of his rejection. Being here away from everything and everyone has been a blessed refuge, and I don't want to leave."

I know I sounded pathetic, but I spoke from the heart. I hated feeling like this. This pregnancy had crossed my wires, and now I had all these insecurities in me. Any existence of the old Rose lived only in memory because in real life a new vulnerable and insecure Rose took position.

Adrian moved closer to me and hugged me tight. I reciprocated the hug.

"Little dhampir, when will you learn that we all love you? We all love the strong, loyal, courageous, 'I don't give a fuck' and 'I'll do anything in this world to achieve my goal' Rose. And we will damn well love the new Rose, too. You are not weak. You have embraced what has been thrown at you and you have succeeded. The old and immature Rose would never accept help. God forbid if it were even offered. On the other hand, the new Rose understood her limitations and got help. She knew she couldn't do it by herself. Accepting help doesn't make you vulnerable, needy or weak. It makes you a mature adult. I know you're afraid, but I'm here to tell you that you don't have to be because we love you above everything else."

"Then answer me this Adrian. What will happen with everyone else? The people that don't know about me and how spirit has been involved in my pregnancy? Everyone will think the twins are yours. That was the first thing my Mom thought when she saw I was pregnant. I'm not strong enough to withstand that ridicule anymore. I don't want my sons to be in the same spotlight I've been in."

"Rose, I don't need to be fortune teller to know that these boys that you and Dimitri have created will have the same strong personal characteristics as their parents. Dimitri is living over his guilt from his time as a strigoi. I can't say what goes on in his mind, but his aura shows sadness, guilt, frustration and anger. When he looks at photos of you those feelings intensify tenfold. Those emotions are so wrapped up in him that he can't see or acknowledge anything else. I swear I can't believe I'm saying this, but give him a chance. You never know - this news might be the thing that will set him straight. Lissa and everyone who knows you miss you, Rose. Don't hide yourself or the twins. Let us be part of your life and theirs."

I hadn't realized I was crying until Adrian wiped away the tears. I understood what Adrian was saying. He's also not the only one suggesting I make my pregnancy public. Yeva has hinted here and there that it would be nice if her family could get to know Dimitri's sons. I know they have some right. They already missed my pregnancy, how much more would they have to miss because of my insecurities? It's unfair to them. They've been nothing but loving towards me.

My mother has also put in her two cents, but she understands that it's my decision and won't force me into anything. Abe is willing to be supportive either way. He once said that if I want to live here forever that he doesn't care. "It's all yours Kizim anyways," he'd said.

Fear of rejection is a powerful emotion that will eat at you slowly until there is nothing but a shell of the person you used to be. I'm paying for all those times I laughed at people who were afraid of things. I would make fun of them and think that I would never be afraid. 'Fear is for the weak-minded'. That's what I thought. And look at me now. Karma is a bitch.

"Ok, Adrian. I'll tell them."

"What about Dimitri?"

"I guess. I mean I know he has the right as the father of the twins to see them, so I won't take that away from him."

Adrian couldn't have had a bigger smile. He showed me all his teeth and fangs joyfully. I didn't need any damned aura to see the genuine happiness Adrian felt. Talking at the speed of light, Adrian already had some ideas on how to reveal my news, but I couldn't concentrate on anything he was saying.

I was too busy hoping I hadn't made a mistake.

* * *

 **A big THANKS to Swimming the same Deep Waters!**


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